dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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