I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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