Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
