All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
