I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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