need another drink. this is the easiest way
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
