That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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