when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
