So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
