Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
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I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
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It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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