He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
