Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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