As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize