I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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