she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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