my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I party with great urgency now.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
