Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
