PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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