Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
