Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize