The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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