TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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