Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
