Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
