After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
