Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize