I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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