Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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