Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
