Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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