high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
