Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
