I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Someone came in the potted fern
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
