She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
