i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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