I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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