Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
