maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize