Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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