margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
