And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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