ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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