Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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