She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
