Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
