I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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