he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize