it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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