Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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