he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
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He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
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I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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