there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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