Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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