he looks like a really good dad on facebook
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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