Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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