your room smells of hookers.
And success
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
