i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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