I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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