PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
