You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
