I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
zippers are such a cool invention
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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