One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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