I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
