saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
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Be still, my beating vagina.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
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I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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