You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
