Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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