Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
