Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
