id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
