I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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