OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
so much tequila, so little girl.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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